I wonder how often we actually acknowledge the origin of a saying? Truly know where it comes from and what it implies.
Maybe this has a bit to do with the book I am currently reading; The Spell of the Sensuous by David Abram. I am a long way from finishing it, possibly due to my affinity for film and series as opposed to reading. But this notion of speech and language carrying a singular, definitive meaning is challenged (at least at the point of my reading progress).
I digress.
So then, green with envy. As with most things in life, the answer is not so straightforward but at least with some overlap regarding the origin story. We do enjoy a good origin story, don’t we? Or at least the Marvel Cinematic Universe want us to think that we do. The overlap of origin is a mixture of Greek and Shakespeare.
From the Greek association that jealousy was caused by the overproduction of bile, leaving the ‘victim’ of envy with a greenish complexion. Some of it being referenced in Greek poetry, but eventually made famous by William Shakespeare in Othello: “Beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.”
From the origin it is clear that jealousy; by implication envy and a comparison process; is important and that it makes one discolour a bit. Specifically making one green, like Hulk; but without the super powers. Or maybe much like Hulk there is a good dose of rage and anger too.
Unpacking it like this leaves me with no room to hide. I need to confess, that I am green with envy. Or rather I am envious of green.
I want to be Green.
Green is Nature.
Green is Earth.
Green is all around us, within us, part of us.
We are part of it.
All interconnected.
And maybe at some point I will write more about this and share my views on the fundamental interconnectedness of everything. For now, I want to highlight a specific aspect of Green which I envy.
Green is resilient.
Green is patient.
Green is immersed within the process and trusts it completely.
Nature adjusts, adapts, finds a way to continue with life, no matter what we throw at it. If this Covid-19 pandemic (or is it epidemic?) has taught me anything, it is that we struggle to adjust. We take time to adapt, if we choose to adapt at all. We seek comfort in what is known. We want to be embraced by the “normality” of things.
What if change, constant change; to the extent of cycles of life and death, destruction and creation, decay and revival, is just that?
Perfectly normal.
Change is normal and it goes through this constant metamorphosis. A transformation of something to something completely different.
I like using the example of veld fires in August, where the grass is burnt black, almost lifeless. Then as we transition to September, or with the first rain, there is bright green grass sprouting up from the black. This green then becomes blindingly beautiful and full of life. Until we get to winter where it all changes again to orange and red and yellow; eventually pale and dry. Dry and windy August, perfect for some more fire. And the cycle continues. Nature knows this. Nature trusts this. Allowing for the process to unfold without judgement, immersed in the presence. Accepting that all of it is required, is normal. That to have one, the other is necessary.
I envy this.
This ability of Green to trust so completely in the necessity of change. To allow and accept without judgement, patiently.
Maybe envy is not the right word for what I am experiencing.
I aspire to be Green.
To learn from it, to embrace it, to apply it in the therapeutic process and the dis-ease of Life.